Hey, I made a new LJ, so add it please:  <lj user=ErinxXxBaby>

Isn't it weird. Isn't it strange.
Even though we're just two strangers on this runaway train
We're both trying to find a place in the sun
We've lived in the shadows, but doesn't everyone
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes
Isn't it hard. Standing in the rain.
You're on the verge of going crazy and your heart's in pain
No one can hear though you're screaming so loud
You feel all alone in a faceless crowd
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes.
Sitting on the side waiting for a sign, hoping that my luck will change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world being different is a sin.
So you don't stand out. And you don't fit in. Weird.
Sitting on the side waiting for a sign, hoping that my luck will change.
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same.
When you live in a cookie cutter world if you're different you can't win.
So you don't stand out and you don't fit in. Weird.
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird
Strange, how we all get a little bit...
Strange, 'cause we're all just a little bit weird sometimes.

So I definitely cut my thumb open with that cutting blade thats on a box of saran wrap or aluminum foil.
It fell out of the cupboard and slid all the way own while digging into my thumb.  OUchhhhhh

So, lately not much has been going on.  I've been working with Chris for almost a month now (or has it been over a month, I dont even know)  And, well its going swimmingly.  I hate it, but its all I can do right now.  I need to make a certain amount per week so we can pay rent, and not use ALL our money on it.  A couple who work at my "supposed" workplace, where I havent worked in forever...Never have any money in their savings account, and they make rent ONLY by their paychecks for the week their rent is due.  Like they had a little extra money one week, and they used it to get him a new tattoo.  Like seriously, they should have saved that money.  Oh well, its their lives, but I just think its funny//wierd that they have no desire to save money at all.  They have a 4 year old, so you'd think theyd keep some savings, but no.
But, back to the topic on hand, I dont know if I can find another job who pays the same amount.  If anybody knows anything, PLEASE let me know!

What else?  Today we celebrated Brandons birthday at Chuck E Cheese.  I havent been there since, seriously my 9th birthday.  I dont remember going there any time other than that really.  Well today when we went, it was Mass Chaos.  There were about 200 people there, and it is NOT a big place at all.  We got Pizza and Breadsticks, which sucked really.  We thought it would be better than Pizza Hut, but it wasnt.
Well afterwards, some people came over, who are still over now: Adam, Donny, Jerry, and Kyle Swinney.  They all have been playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance since, like 730pm when they all got here.  Fun for them, but Ive been sitting here online the whole time, trying to occupy myself.

Lately Ive been trying to hang out with friends more.  Im trying to get together with Jessie and Lindsey, but Im not sure when that will even happen because we all work, and Lindsey has a 1 1/2 year old.  Hopefully we will find the time though, because I need friend time.
Im also trying to hang out with Chrissty, which used to be a regular thing...but her mom has went plum crazy and isnt letting her go anywhere or do anything.  We havent hung out in a really long time, like months.  We used to try to hang out every couple weeks if possible.
Ive been talking to Nikki again a bit...but we dont really hang out.  Mainly because both of us are always busy, PLUS if we spend too much time together we fight alot.  Not as much fight as start to not get along...
I see Jess alot more now, because her and Aaron are back together, but when we get together theres always like 13 people there and there really isnt much "girls time".  We're trying though.
Man, it seems like now that Im actually having people want to hang out with me, its hard to find the time.  It sucks.

Well, I think Im gonna cut it short, even though Im still bored as life because these boys are playing the video game!

♥Erin♥

 So I really dont feel like posting a huge entry, but I figure I should list what I got for Christmas, which wasnt much.  Well what I got from the people I actually GOT things from was great, but not many people got me anything.

My sister (christmas eve)
A cream colored sweater
A pink/coral colored sweater
Some brown boots, super cute
a lip gloss
a makeup/overnight bag from victorias secret with a lotion-bodywash-perfume set.

From Chris
A video game I wanted, Chibi Robo
A speaker system for my Ipod Nano
An amazingly soft robe

From Chris's parents
A steamer/deepfryer/cooker
A blender
$75

My Aunt Betty (sent in the mail)
A pair of white furry soooooooft gloves



And thats all.  Really.  I mean I appreciate and like the gifts I  got, Im just coming to the realization that I have no friends who care enough to get me anything.  Even a $5 or dollar store gift would at least mean something.  Christmas is kinda a time where you give to those you love...shows how loved I am...

Dear heavenly father:
I come to you today
humble as I know how

I praise you and lift your name up
I know its only
because of you that I made it this far

I look at my life knowing that my days are precious
and that nothing is forever

as I move forward on this journey
I learn to take what I need and keep moving

I realize that my talents are a gift from you
and that what I do with them is my gift back to you

i want to give back to you
and I know sometimes I go astray
but I'll always come back to you

because I love you
in your precious name I pray

Amen

I really never know what to write on here anymore.....

Your Weight is Ideal

Your BMI is 23.6 - a healthy BMI falls between 18.5 and 25 Congratulations, you are the perfect weight for your height. Even though you may not be entirely happy with your weight, you are healthy. So gain or lose a few pounds if you want, but don't go too crazy! Don't agree? Blame the government standards we based this test on!

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro. You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

Your Body Image is 48% Unhealthy, 52% Healthy

You may think you have a normal body image, but you definitely don't. While you may not have a serious problem, you obsess over your looks way too much.

Your Pride Quotient: 79%

You're beyond proud - you think you're honorary royalty. And while you may be nice on occasion, it's usually just to get what you want.

You Are Elektra

There's really no superhero with more style than you. Because who could beat being sexy assasin ninja?

You Are 10% Redneck

I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style. You ain't no redneck - you're all Yankee!

Your Italian Name Is...

Belinda Bruno

Yay! Chris and I got an apartment!  We're picking up the keys and signing the lease tomorrow or thursday, and hopefully moving our stuff this weekend! Im beyond excited, we will finally have space!!!

Theres so much about me that people dont understand.
Im not some stupid ditsy girl.
Im an intellectual 21 year old girl, who needs more than im getting right now.
I need friends...the kind of friends who can support me, and hold me close.  I'm not perfect, and Im sick of pretending to be content with my life.
Also, the kind of friends who I can relate to mentally and intellectually.

I still have friends, but they arent as close as they used to be.
And I need close friends.  Like, sometimes Chris and I have small fights, and I dont have anyone to look to...Im supposed to have that.  Unlike most people...I dont have parents, or grandparents.
I have friends who are missing a parent, but theyre lucky enough to have a grandparent, big brother/sister to fall back on.  I dont have that.


I hope that clears some things up for peopl....because Im drawing a blank now.

I once had a True friend. Her name was Maryna Shchaveleva, later to be known as Molly.

Molly was a true friend. She brought out the best in me...she brought out my fun side...the TRUE Erin. I miss having true friends who would be there for me when I needed them.

Now, not to say Molly and I arent friends anymore, but she moved back to her home country, Ukraine, in May of 2003.

I found a poem online, a few days before she left, and it applied to our situation so well...so I gave her a copy of it.

You helped me laugh
Because of you...
I have no fears
Together we live
Together we grow
Teaching each other
What we must know
You came into my life
And I was blessed
I love you friend
You are the best
Release my hand,
And say goodbye
Please dont worry,
I'll try not to cry
I promise you this
Its not the end
Because like I said
You are my friend



Remember Me This Way

Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I know you can't stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
Forever more apart of time, you're everywhere
I'll always care

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side and all you do
And I won't ever leave
As long as you believe
You just believe



I just wish I could find a friend like Molly again...

Im hiding behind the disguise of who you want me to be...

( Pictures to explain my feelings )

All I can really say is I wish I had real friends.

Friends who respect enough not to step all over their supposed friends.

Friends who I can trust not to use and lie to me.

Friends who are mature enough to stand up for themselves and do whats right in every situation.

These people I have arent friends...theyre acquaintances...and barely that.


That is all...I will possibly have more later.

Im really sick of this...

So...a lot has changed for me lately.
Not a lot that I really want to go into, but I believe that my friends have changed. I just hope I can trust these new friends.



Other than that, I went looking for a job yesterday, and I applied at 3 places, all totally opposite: Red Lobster, Old Navy (yay!!) and LA Weight Loss.
I really hope I get one of those jobs, so that I can start making money because Im currently using my savings and thats depleting. Chris and I are also hoping to move out sometime soon...and we need an income on both sides to be able to do that.

Well, Im not sure what else I have to say.
Im going to leave you with a couple quizzes!

___________________________________________________________________________

You Are 60% Addicted to Love

Might as well face it, you're addicted to love. You've been a fool for love many times - but are you the wiser for it? Your needs should come first, both in and out of relationships. Because you're the only one who can look out for yourself!

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

You Are 52% Bipolar

You're a bit moody, and at times, your moods can be a bit extreme. It's up to you to decide if you're simply dramatic... or slightly bipolar.

Your Dating Purity Score: 71%

You are an under-experienced dater. This doesn't mean you're unexperienced - far from it. It just means that there's a lot of romance left to discover!

Your Quirk Factor: 46%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it. Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

 Me: i was horrible in 1st grade
Me: dont know why i remember this, but me and a girl named Kelly used to bop the driver on the head, because we sat right behnd her
Cathy: that's not nice...
Me: she was always so mad
Cathy: I'm sure
Me: god now im laughing, lol
Me: i was 6 what can i say
Cathy: shame on you....my sister-in-law would have pulled that bus over and killed you girls...lol
Me: LOL
Cathy: :-D
Cathy: she won't put up with much
Me: our bus drivers got used to it
Cathy: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: they didnt like it, but they eventually put up with it
Me: everything, not the bopping